I busied myself with reward systems and star charts, thinking they would help.
And they did, for like, three days.
No matter what I tried, the unwanted behaviour always returned.
My daughter had unbelievably big feelings, and I had no idea how to manage them.
Some days I felt like I was going mad, trying the same approaches and expecting different results...
Only for nothing to change. Again and again.
No wonder I felt like I was underwater and struggling for air most of the time.
But here's the thing I didn't know:
There's a roadmap to follow...
...that delivers calm parenting and brings about exceptional results, every time.
Why oh why didn't anyone tell me this??
I felt like I was suddenly in on a big parenting secret.
When I learned this, it made sense why my approach wasn't working.
It was because it didn't follow the calm parenting roadmap.
When I got this right (FINALLY!), everything fell into place.
I was able to understand my reactions and regulate my emotions
I got to know myself as a parent - and understood my children on a deeper level.
I saw limit-pushing behaviour differently, and used smarter approaches to deal with it.
Before long, I saw amazing results (that's the crazy thing about this approach - you get big results in a matter of days)...
I managed to dissolve my three-year-old’s huge tantrums with a few calm words rather than hours of crying and screaming (from us both!).
And the number of meltdowns she'd have over the course of a week dropped dramatically.
I learned to read my son's cues, so I was able to give him what he needed - instead of getting his big behaviour when I misread the signals.
And as my twins became toddlers, I found myself shouting less and less, because I used the right techniques (not ones I found on social media) to get through to them.
I discovered how to get my kids to listen...
...how to change their behaviour.
...and how to say and do exactly the right thing during those tumultuous meltdowns.
And of course, the massive bonus from all of this was that I stopped stressing out so much.
I became a calmer, more chilled mum, because I did the work on myself.
I was more confident, because I had the best tools to use, that were aligned with how I wanted to parent.
And best of all, I was a more conscious parent, because I understood my triggers and had let go of my parenting past.
Hanging out with my family became more fun than hard work.
Sure, they still have their tricky moments.
They’re kids, after all ;)